Monday, May 20, 2013

2013 Golden State Warriors Exit Interviews

By Justin Taylor 

In my 30 years of following this team I’ve never seen a Warriors squad exceed expectations by this much. I was on record predicting a 48 win season and a playoff appearance this season.  That didn't lessen the shock when they refused to fall apart as the injuries mounted during the regular and postseason runs. Now that the season is over it’s time to look ahead to the offseason and what can be done to build on this cornerstone of a season we just witnessed.

You may not know this but I’ve recently appointed myself to the role of Golden State Warriors front office advisor. The team will undoubtedly conduct exit interviews this week if they haven’t already and this is a transcript of the input I will be contributing to those conversations starting from the very top!

Joe Lacob, Owner:

Looking Back: You did a fantastic job stepping out of the spotlight this season. You also continued to make good on your promise to improve this team by letting the best and brightest basketball minds do what they do best.

Looking Forward: Keep doing what you’re doing but be prepared to spend some extra cash this coming season. Whether you keep this team intact or add to it some other way you’re going over the tax line next season. Don’t worry though, we both know that you’ll get back under the following season when the Biedrins/Jefferson dead weight comes off the books.

Peter Guber, Co-Owner:

Looking Back: You also did a great job of staying out of the spotlight this season. The fact is, we all know how happy you are to spend all of your money on the Los Angeles Dodgers and we have no problem with that as long as you stay down there.

Looking Forward: Since you are the self proclaimed “In Game Experience Guru” there are only two things you need to concern yourself with. 1) Improve the WiFi in the arena and 2) dump whatever other money you would spend on theatrics into the roster. The only thing that makes the Oracle experience better are wins and playoff appearances.

Bob Myers, General Manager:

Looking Back: You were the Barry Bonds of front office execs for the last twelve months, hitting home run after home run. Even though I am the self appointed management oversight committee guy I really don’t feel qualified to critique your spotless record. In fact, your stat sheet is so clean I might recommend testing you for some sort of PED’s.

Looking Forward: Keep doling out team friendly contracts like the one you gave Steph Curry. Keep nailing late round draft picks and keep turning scrubs like Dorrell Wright into contributors like Jarrett Jack or Carl Landry. If you can get Biedrins and Jefferson off the books a year early without taking on any water for future seasons I will personally get your Hall of Fame campaign ramping up in just your second year of employment in the NBA. Seriously, we’ll take some already chewed gum and a sack of marbles for them. If you can’t get the marbles we’ll all understand.

Mark Jackson, Coach:

Looking Back: I was skeptical before the season that you and this team were ready to make the leap into relevancy, especially if the team couldn’t stay healthy. I was wrong on all counts and I think that admitting mistakes is what qualifies me for this job. Your ability to keep this group of young men motivated to play defense and rebound in the face of impending doom, multiple times throughout the season, without the message getting old was admirable. Actually, getting any team with a Warriors logo on its jersey to rebound and defend at any point is a pretty incredible feat.

Looking Forward: We’re not out of the woods in this evaluation because Mike Malone is most likely going to get his own club this coming season. We need to see someone drawing up plays that actually work. You can sell me by either proving your ability to do this yourself or by continuing to show a willingness to bring in people smarter than you to play key roles on your staff.

Stephen Curry, Point Guard:

Looking Back: Talk about exceeding expectations!?!?! First, you showed an incredible amount of heart in gutting out many of the 90 total games you played this year. Then you made a leap so big that national media members had to publicly apologize for not putting you on their All Star teams. You played so damn well this season that people practically forgot that the front office traded Monta Ellis for a guy who barely played this year.

Looking Forward: Paying you $11-12 million a year for the next four is going to be an absolute privilege for this team. All we ask is you stay off your ankle all offseason. We will be providing you with a wheelchair and a “chauffer” so you don’t have to strain yourself at all. We have already informed Richard Jefferson that his role with the team this coming season is simply to push you around wherever you need to go this summer. We thought about using Andris but were afraid he might start boozing again and run you into a wall at some point.

David Lee, Power Forward:  

Looking Back: This season you became the first Warriors All Star since before Latrell Sprewell chocked out the coach. You also took it in stride when the stat nerd community labeled you the Golden Gate on the defensive side of the ball. You are to be commended for your hard work and dedication to this team!

Looking Forward: We need you to realize two things this offseason: 1) You’re offensive numbers are unnecessary and 2) your defense needs to improve. The team proved in your absence that we are better off with Steph getting extra shots over force-feeding you the ball in the post. We will lean on you to eat up minutes in the regular season for stretches but if you can’t improve on the defensive end I’m going to recommend that the team trade you even if that recommendation will surely get me banned from Oracle by Joe Lacob.

Andrew Bogut, Center:

Looking Back: You’re performance in three or four playoff games was enough to make everyone realize what most already knew; the trade to acquire you was absolutely the right move.

Looking Forward: We’re going to need more than 30 grimace filled regular season games and six out of twelve playoff games next year. We don’t want to put you back on the trade market but we absolutely will if we don’t get more next year. Just to show you how committed to your health we are we’re putting you on the Curry offseason program and will be assigning Asst. Coach Pete Myers to push your wheelchair and get you cold Fosters all offseason. Cheers mate.

Jarrett Jack, Point Guard:

Looking Back: You were our 6th man of the year this season no doubt. Pay no mind to all of the uproar over your little over-dribbling problem in the postseason, it was a necessary evil and you meant more to this team than anybody has given you credit for.

Looking Forward: We look forward to low balling you with an offer sheet this offseason and wish you the best if you can get overpaid elsewhere. Before you accept our ridiculously low offer we need you know there is one thing you must improve this offseason; your peripheral vision. If you continue taking fadeaways and floaters when Steph, Klay and B. Rush are open in the corner Jerry West is going to have a heart attack and we’ll be forced to charge you with manslaughter.

Carl Landry, Power Forward:

Looking Back: I still can’t believe that no team in the league would top the contract you played under this season. Four million dollars? Wow! There are only a handful of guys around the league who outplayed their deal by as wide a margin you did.

Looking Forward: We wish you luck on the open market in July but we’re all hoping we get the chance to underpay you on another one year contract this coming season.

Klay Thompson, Shooting Guard:

Looking Back: You made a giant leap this season after your early season meltdowns. Everyone wishes you were a bit more marketable but not everyone has the ability to change facial expressions.

Looking Forward: Next season you will be expected to show up in EVERY game on the offensive and defensive side of the ball. If we see you pouting when things aren’t going your way we will not hesitate to dock your allowance again!

Richard Jefferson, Small Forward:

Looking Back: You could have justified your albatross of a contract Barry Zito style by hitting one goddamn free throw when it mattered. Was that too much to ask?!?!?

Looking Forward: If we can’t get the bag of beans we’re seeking in a trade for you this offseason we’re all hoping that you are remembered for something more than filling Kent Bazemore’s car with popcorn next season. Be careful when pushing Steph’s wheelchair!

Andris Biedrins, Center:

Looking Back: With a ton of help from you this season I’ve finally convinced every fan, coach, player and front office exec that the promise you showed as a kid will never be fulfilled. Thanks for not showing any flashes that may have confused that message!

Looking Forward: Please try to keep the smoking and drinking to a minimum this summer. If you do, just make sure you’re not photographed, especially if you happen to be with a prostitute at the time. We’re trying to trick one of the dumber teams in the league to take you off our hands and we can’t have anything getting in the way of that.

Harrison Barnes, Small Forward:

Looking Back: If we had to do it over again we’d tank another ten times to make sure we got you as our starting small forward.  We’re ecstatic to have you and your canned postgame interviews for the next 10 years!

Looking Forward: We can’t promise Tony Parker will be guarding you at any point next season. We do know that if you stay as aggressive as you were when he was on you you’ll have a long, lucrative career in this league.

Festus Ezeli, Center:

Looking Back: Being Adonal Foyle reincarnated is nothing to be ashamed of. Taking on Richard Jefferson’s corpse was a small price to pay for that; being as though it wasn’t my money on the line.

Looking Forward: Everybody is looking forward to seeing you start the 50 or 60 games Andrew Bogut misses again next season!

Draymond Green, Basketball Player:

Looking Back: There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that you were the steal of the draft and that was before you started hitting threes in the playoffs. Your IQ, toughness and versatility have me you a Dub Nation favorite.

Looking Forward: We’d like you to continue working on your shot because when you push your ass out on your three point stroke it reminds us a little too much of Antawn Jamison. We promise that if you do that and keep progressing we will trade David Lee to make room for you in the starting line up. I’m just sorry I won’t be allowed in the arena once it happens for being the guy who suggests that to Lacob.

Kent Bazemore, Shooting Guard:

Looking Back: In my 30 years of following this team I’ve never seen a guy who played so little become such a huge fan favorite (Jeremy Lin doesn’t count). You were hands down the NBA Most Valuable 12th Man.

Looking Forward: If you add a jump shot to your celebrations we will guarantee you a three year contract!

Scott Machado, Point Guard:

Looking Back: We hardly knew you…

Looking Forward: Based on your college resume you could be the exact change of pace distributor this team needs. Last year I recommended Jason Kidd at this time and BOY was I wrong. Don’t me look stupid again if I put in a good word for you in Vegas…
Can’t wait to see you all at Summer League!


  1. “If you can get Biedrins and Jefferson off the books a year early without taking on any water for future seasons I will personally get your Hall of Fame campaign ramping up in just your second year of employment in the NBA.” I’ll be on board for that campaign!

    “If you continue taking fadeaways and floaters when Steph, Klay and B. Rush are open in the corner Jerry West is going to have a heart attack and we’ll be forced to charge you with manslaughter.” I’m still LOL’ing!

    Also, don’t forget that Biedrins can become a certified wheelchair pusher for Steph or Bogus. Unless of course they can trade him for an ankle healer, that is.

    1. Appreciate the feedback, I'm psyched that someone made it that far into the column!

  2. And not a big deal or anything but yours truly picked the Warriors final record correctly down to the GAME in March (and of course I had em in the playoffs in my pre-season picks too but that's a give):

    1. Go ahead, you deserve it! They blew my prediction of 46 out of the

      I think I'm most proud of the creative way I ended up with that number...Pretty sure making my pre season predictions by breaking down the schedule by contenders, pretenders and rear enders will be an annual column now.

      I only wish I could have predicted the LOLakers as rear enders...although they did graduate to pretenders by season's end...

    2. For sure man! That article was a great one. "rear enders" that's nearly as hilarious as the LOLakers season. I'm almost sad it's over so I have to stop ragging on them but then again there's always next year for that hahaha.

      Now not only do I hate #chokecity cuz they're the Lakers but I hate em cuz they made me look bad TWICE with preseason predictions and playoff predictions.

  3. Nice article. Great season but get ready for a rough road ahead unless ownership wishes to cough up some big cash. I take it that GS doesn't have any picks in the draft unless they make a trade to obtain one. Nevertheless what a season to remember.
    Great businesses are created by obtaining great coaching talent below you & the delegation of your ideas to the leaders below. Jackson did this. Who really knows what happens behind the doors when practice starts but he has showed that he can delegate his ideas to his coaches on the bench & all did a wonderful job. You hit this one on the head.
    I knew things were looking upward when I saw the first moments of summer league play. Meyers had this team playing good sound defensive basketball from game one. And you know how important defense is on my list. It all revolves around defense & court transition as stated before. Beat your opponent up the floor for high percentage shots. When GS took the ball to the hoop on a consistent basis they shut down opponents. They need to do more of this & get to the line more often.
    Proven that you can beat the best when the 3's are falling but when you miss you are rebounding with a 4 on 5 situation. Tough to win that battle vs. the San Antonio's of the league. GS did a yeoman's job with the injury status that plagued them. We can't rely on the 3's to decide games. If you do you're playing Russian roulette vs. basketball. Games are decided at the hoop not behind the line. You win games shooting 3's,you win championships by controlling the paint.
    Dominance in the paint on both ends consistently wins. Is Howard the answer? Yes if he shows up. Howard can be the most intimidating figure in basketball if he wants to show up. In a defensive environment as here now & with Jackson here to motivate him could bring him out of hibernation but the risks are high. I believe Myers will look at the free agent market closely before he takes the giant leap to Howard if he does at all.
    Landry & Jack need to stay but they won't come cheap. Nothing anymore does. I feel they'll go for the cash & who could blame them? But no matter I sign on with Lacob & Myers running the show. Brilliant job that went unnoticed by the NBA this season.
    Any takers on the Ellis Bogut trade? LOl this trade rejuvenated GS by giving us presence needed in the paint & freed up openings for Thompson,others to play the 2. Thompson's improvement on defense was one of the main reasons GS improved so quickly. He needs to work on his post up play in the off season. Reminds me of Kobe(not that he is) when he has it going. Loads of upside but the D he brought stood out like a sore thumb in relation to past actions.
    If Bogut stays healthy & GS decides to obtain Howard what happens to Bogut? Love the two headed monster idea but how about the expense? Do you trade Bogut for a power forward? Move Bogut to the 4? Lots of questions to be answered but GS is in a better position this off season. Should be fun.
    Many things have my attention but I still peek in at the scoreboards/columns & follow the bay area games on my slingbox. Those things are sweet. Get the 500 if you have the bandwidth. Total monthly cost: $10 for a Comcast receiver. Beats the hell out being raped by the NBA. Hopefully everything's fine JT. Nice to see you're getting things in order here & hopefully GS does likewise. I'll be back. Good luck. S

    1. Thanks for coming back SRG! I plan on putting up some more columns during the offseason and you just got a little ahead of me on the free agency list. I hope to have my thoughts up on Tuesday. As for Howard... (which will be a key topic in that column) If he were to come it would be in sign and trade that Bogut would be a part of almost guaranteed...

    2. You're one of the few realistic W's fans who really understands the dilemma's Myers went thru & is going to go thru in the off season. Past management blunders are his nemesis but he's doing it the right way. If he can just maintain anything we saw this season I'll be surprised. He got hose'd in the voting for GM of the year. If the W's wish to compete this season he'll have to work wonders.
      I figured you'd agree on Bogut leaving due to GS attempting to retain Landry & Jack if Howard did come over. But if he came & truly wanted to get after it as he used to look out. GS will go to the top. Be hard to imagine GS with a legitimate center again. I guess maybe since Chief left we've been looking. Can you imagine having a defensive,rebounding presence as Howard on the court? Court transition from him & Lee on the Boards? Many will disagree with me but Howard/Lee working inside & possibly Curry,Thompson,Rush,Jack shooting from the perimeter? I see wins piling up but combined with the D we showed & add Howard to school Ezeli?
      It's nice to dream isn't it? The reality is eventually you wake up & life is just about where it was when you started dreaming. I'm pretty used to getting my tail kicked as a W's fan but I feel my luck changing if Myers is calling the shots. Give me a e-mail when the new article is finished. Nice to see things in order. Thanks again,S

  4. As much as I keep hoping that Howard would show up when arriving in Oakland (certainly wishful thinking) his past actions make be believe you've got this right. We know what we have with Bogut. Another off season to regain his total health & he could be ready to play a full season as he did in the playoffs. Hard to argue after the way he played vs. San Antonio. Obviously something's right when GS can step into the Alamo dome & actually show up for a victory there. I have to now agree that the answer to our 5 dilemma is to sign Bogut if his contract is coming to the end. Who can argue this point after his relentless defense he played in the playoffs.

    How much longer do we have Lee's contract? He's gotta stay! Tough decisions plague GS but I have extreme confidence in Myers unlike past management. If Howard ever grew up he could be one of the elite centers of all time but his childish actions tell me he'll do likewise here. I just want presence in the paint & Bogut showed he can get the job done so after this season I should be satisfied right? Nope & I never was. That's why I won in about everything I did. Hopefully Myers can make amends for previous management's decisions from years past. I've taken many years of abuse so why quit now? I'll be a Warriors fan until the day I die(which could be tomorrow lol). As far as I'm concerned TIGS is the best reading anywhere for Warriors basketball news & surprised that more haven't figured this out. Keep kicking out this great reading material & I'll be here. SRG

    1. Thanks for the compliments and the support SRG!

      Lee will be here through 2015-16 so you don't have anything to worry about there.

      I think if you made it through game 1 of that Spurs series without having a heart attack you're gonna make it through these next few seasons just fine!