Welcome to the "FINALE!" Lets get ready to bumble!
Pregame:
Waiting for the Knicks game to wrap up. Congratulations to the Charlotte Bobcats for
clinching the honor of Worst Basketball
Team in NBA History Award! I didn’t
think they had it in them but boy was I wrong.
They could teach the Warriors a thing or two about bottoming out! They officially have the best odds in the Unibrow Sweepstakes.
I have a feeling the TNT studio crew is going to do all they
can to not talk about this upcoming game.
Charles says, “This is going to be very interesting” as Ernie announces, “the Warriors will start 5
rookies!” Five Rookies? Has this been done before? I like these guys but they’re not exactly the
Fab Five. We’re making history tonight! Amazing.
Let's be honest, these guys wish they didn't have to watch this game let alone talk about it.
Maybe it’s a good thing that this crappy game is
national. We don’t have to see Gary St.
Jean again this season now. Is there a
bigger symbol of our tortured past left around here? I seriously hope he’s replaced by next
season.
All Kevin Harlan and Greg Anthony can do is laugh at the
starting line ups.
“If it looks like a preseason game folks it feels like a preseason game.” Says Kevin
Harlan. I couldn’t agree more…
Here we go! Game #66
Chris Wright is making Mark Jackson look bad for not giving
him more run early on during the tank right off the bat. He’s definitely got a flair for the
spectacular.
It took a shit game like this for Patty Mills to remind
everyone that he is in fact back in the NBA.
I don’t think anyone outside of the Bay Area knew that.
As was expected, this is shaping up to be a terrible game,
just turrible. They might as well be
playing at Mosswood Park in Oakland right now, but that would be an insult to
the history of the park though.
I’m glad the guys on the bench are having such a good
time. Mark Jackson just left Nate,
Dorrell and Andris ROLLING. That has got to count for something on his
resume right?
Chris Wright with another three point play opportunity. I hope Dorrell doesn’t see the floor tonight
or at any point moving forward for the Warriors. From now on he doesn’t exist to me, if I say
Wright I’m referring to Chris unless pointed out otherwise.
On that note another great defensive play from Wright
setting Thompson up for an easy layup.
See, you could probably tell I’m not talking about Dorrell when Wright
is followed by the words “great defensive play” or “he really hustled for that
loose ball.”
Klay Thompson with some beautiful drives early, he has been
very aggressive tonight. I just hope he
works on a facial expression or two this offseason.
The announcers are highlighting that Mark Jackson was adamant
we are not tanking before the game. I
wonder if they knew he was starting five rookies as he was selling that line.
Patty Mills with 14
of San Antonio’s first 27 points.
Can we go an entire game with nothing but rookies getting
minutes. That would have to be some sort
of record. Even with nothing but rookies
we’re better than the Bobcats. Maybe the
claims that Kentucky would have beaten them this year weren’t as ridiculous as
some made them out to be.
First quarter ends 29-27 Warriors and the token female
sideline reporter is tasked with asking ridiculous questions to the Spurs Assistant Coach between quarters. Shouldn’t the question be “How do you feel
about Pop literally mailing this game in tonight?”
Dom McGuire and Mikki Moore start the second quarter
completely ruining our shot at the first ever Rookies Only game.
You’ve got to really respect the way the TNT broadcast team
is trying to make this game seem interesting.
I hope the Spurs get a fine for trying to forfeit this
game. How can a team actually look like
they are trying to tank harder than the Warriors?
TNT just showed downtown Oakland and Harlan asked, “Is that
Jack London Square?” How would he know, he’d never go downtown and that’s the
first time TNT has ever shown that shot.
Make note TNT, this is downtown Oakland, not Jack London Square.
Another highlight alley oop to Wright, this time from
McGuire. Two minutes later we get
another one. Is that four spectacular Chris
Wright alley oops this half?
Another air balled three pointer from San Antonio followed
by McGuire throwing an alley oop to nobody in particular, maybe someone sitting
court side?
Tyler just had a pass bounce right through his hands. I think that is going to be his NBA downfall,
butterfingers doesn’t explain it, he’s got Pennzoil hands.
That’s it for the unwatchable first half minus the Wright
dunks and a couple nice Thompson drives.
So really, only 23 minutes and 25 seconds of the game so far has sucked. 54-53 Warriors at the half.
Props to Charles Barkley for this nugget from halftime, “The
Warrias cannot win this game, thas jus stupid.
Mark Jackson, if you win this game Im’ma have ta fly out to Goden State
and slap da hell outta you.” Sorry, but
it’s extremely hard to quote Charles, that was my best attempt.
It was nice the way they reiterated the point about twenty
times during the half “Mark Jackson has to lose this game! Mark Jackson HAS to lose THIS GAME!” And people give
us shit for rooting for losses? Screw
those people.
Warriors rookies and Spurs third stringers, ready for the
second half.
Boris Diaw must be on a strict cheeseburger/cheesecake
diet. The only reason he’s in this game
is the Spurs want him to play his way into shape for the playoffs, 66 games into
the season. He had no reason to be fit
playing for the Bobcats for most of this season though.
If the Warriors go down double digits I’m going to yell Bob
Fitzgerald’s favorite line when they make a run…“THE WARRIORS CUT IT TO SINGLE DIGITS! They just WON’T go away!”
This game gets harder and harder to watch, might need to view
the rest in fast-forward. That has been
my go to move when watching these shitty games.
Start them an hour late and skim through all the unwatchable free
throws, turnovers and ridiculous Fitz statements.
That was a quick third quarter. Thank god.
84-82 Spurs.
Queue up the token female sideline reporter with Bob
Myers. I can’t help but like the guy, he
started going to Warrior games around the same time as me. I’m actually very jealous of the different
paths our lives have taken.
I would argue that this is the only guy that should be asking stupid questions between quarters.
Just got a shot of Biedrins on the bench, I think the
problem is that he went away from the spike look. Management should address that in the
offseason.
Wright miss-handled his 20th highlight alley oop
of the night and next time down the floor Tyler gets his best throw down of the
season. I think he’s been saving that
one.
The refs are trying hard to swallow their whistles. No one wants to be responsible for prolonging
this game.
It’s a curious move to hold out Dorrell Wright because he
helps the tanking cause.
Just heard this is the first five rookie start game since
the stat was tracked in 1971. I doubt it
happened anytime before that though.
Token girl is interviewing Jackson and she asks him how
proud he is that the team isn’t tanking?
Who feeds her these questions?
I’m sure this has been a great career move for her, whatever her name
is.
I wonder if anyone tracks the stat for air balls in a
game. This one has got to be in
contention for that record too.
Wright just threw down a nasty dunk for the umpteenth time
tonight. Why haven’t we seen more of him
while we were forced to stomach these last 30 games and why wasn’t he in the
dunk contest? He couldn’t compete with
Jeremi Evans?
I think it’s time for me to stop talking about this
game. The announcers have. They are treating it like a preseason or D
League game at this point. It’s kind of
hard to blame them.
Patty Mills just woke me up with his 30th point
of the night. I hope that scores him a contract
next season.
Five rookies and Mikki Moore vs. five third stringers. This game is in serious competition for worst
game I’ve ever seen. There have been too
many Warrior games in contention for that title this season. This is like a bad imitation of a high school
all star game with all the botched lob passes and air balls.
What’s with the Lets Go Warriors chant? Pack it in till next season folks; we need to
lose this game! 103-97 Spurs, 3 to play.
I’ve pined to re-sign McGuire all season but if he wills
them to victory I reserve the right to completely reverse course on that.
Thank god the Warriors still can’t rebound to save their
lives. That seals it. 105-101, make it 107 Spurs and that’s a
season folks!
Charles was taking a dump backstage instead of watching that
pointless second half.
We can all start holding our breathe for a coin toss and to
hope no one behind us in the lottery jumps ahead to keep our pick. Sounds like a lot to me to.
That’s all folks! Thanks for watching with me. See you at the lottery! Now instead of rooting for losses we can root
for ping pong balls…and That is Warriors
basketball!
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